It is hard to believe that I have only two more semesters left until I student teach, InshaAllah! SubhanAllah, time passes by so fast. I look back and it was Him that granted me patience and strength to endure everything that happened… Always keep ahold of the rope, always. He is surely the best of all Planners, so put your trust in Him.
When I give, I give myself.
Tired of those people who always fall through over and over again. It makes it harder and harder to trust them with anything. The best people to have in your life are those who intuitively sense your energy on a given day. The ones who keep up with you, the ones who stay rather than the ones who come and go. They are the ones who do not feel threatened about their freedom or happiness withering away—they support their friend through the toughest of times. It is such a selfish act when they back away; it is not selfless… And then there are the ones who connect with you without being a try-hard. It is all natural—sometimes it being as if you had met them in another time. I believe in those kind of people. This reminds me of the quote by J.D. Salinger, “I’m sick of ‘just’ liking people. I wish to God I could meet somebody I could respect.”
As I see it, you are living with something that you keep hidden deep inside. Something heavy. I felt it from the first time I met you. You have a strong gaze, as if you have made up your mind about something. To tell you the truth, I myself carry such things around inside. Heavy things. That is how I can see it in you.
And the days that I keep my gratitude higher than my expectations, I have really good days.
The period of waiting patiently for release from suffering is an act of worship.
I am not much of a let’s-go-shopping then let’s-go-eat-out then let’s-go-watch-a-movie type of person. I used to do this very frequently with a majority of my friends… I realized I used to always come home with this sort of unsatisfactory feeling, that I did not get to do much, that I did not spend my money wisely, that I did not surround myself in good company, and so on. And I am not much of a let’s-go-get-coffee so we can talk about life kind of person either. I feel as though people like to do this for show, to put off this impersonation of what an “intellectual person” looks like and does. But, it ends up you can see right through them. I love gathering with a select few of my close friends and having coffee or tea with them. It gets rather dispiriting when it turns out to be just another hang out that involves taking pictures of themselves all dressed up and getting “cutesy” for the camera. Is this why we socialize—to dress up nice, pile different shades of eyeshadow, contour our faces JUST to go out to have a cup of coffee? Where is the genuineness in this meeting, this friendship? I get it, some people are different than others, of course. They like to look aesthetically pleasing to the public and for themselves when they go out. It is unbelievably frivolous to me when that is the main focus. On the other hand, I do thank God for sending me superhero-of-friends that enjoy doing things spontaneously with me. I LOVE adventure and breathe to explore the bountiful beauties of nature all around me. No, not parks. I drive around to find these places, these little nooks that are rare… The ones you never thought would exist in boring ol’ Kansas. But you find them, trust me, just as you find those friends of amiable quality.